I knocked out eight more pages of the script rewrite yesterday, which means my draft is now complete, apart from the final scene. Truth be told, this will probably be the hardest sequence of the script to tweak, as it’s the segment with the biggest number of problems. Unfortunately, I don’t immediately know how to fix them.
It’s not that the scene itself is bad… it just seems to belong in a different script. The change in tone is jarring; the majority of the story is zany and fun, but this sequence seems to be ripped from a super-serious police thriller. And some of the rewriting I’ve already done has made this change in tone even more apparent.
Still, I was pleased enough with the 25 pages I’ve already completed to show the script to a couple of people yesterday.
Neither of them liked it.
They both gave detailed feedback, and as much as I hate to admit it, a lot of their complaints are valid. There’s no way I can implement the necessary modifications and corrections before Sunday, so it looks like Michael will be getting a rough draft for now, with a revision to follow. It’s kindof the Microsoft approach to screenwriting — I’ll get a broken version of the product to market before it’s ready, and then issue a patch later.
I think part of the problem is that when I read my script, I see it as a completed program; I know the camera angles I want to use, I know the kind of music I want, and I hear the cadence of the dialogue in a very specific way. When anyone else reads the script, they’re imagining their own version of the show, which may not look or sound anything like mine. It’s like how two different people can tell you the exact same joke, and one rendition falls flat, while the other is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.
It’s a great failing of mine that I don’t take criticism well. Even if I know the criticism is valid, I still feel like I’ve failed if someone says anything other than “Great job, it’s perfect!” when they read my work. I’m trying to change that facet of myself, but it’s hard.
Blobfest is tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to it. Shayne has completed another episode of Cinemaslave for me, so hopefully that will tide folks over while we’re waiting for my computer to be fixed. I’ll get the show up on the RSS feed before I head to Phoenixville to party with my fellow geeks.
Moviewise, Harry Potter V and Talk to Me (the new Don Cheadle flick) are now playing. I hope I get to see at least one of them this weekend.