One nation, under The Terminator…

I guess by now you’ve probably heard that James Cameron, the self-proclaimed King of the World and Prince of Scraggly Beards, has apparently found the tomb of Jesus.

This story probably isn’t supposed to be as funny as I seem to find it. I can’t even dwell on the potential theological implications; I’m much too busy injecting characters from Cameron’s films into the New Testament and creating my own sci-fi/bible mash-ups.

I’m thinking Linda Hamilton should play the Virgin Mary in the inevitable film adaptation, but only if she keeps her heavy arsenal of T2 weaponry, for those days when Joseph (Lance Henriksen, of course) gets out of line.

Baby Jesus? Arnie all the way. (Hey, it’s better casting than either Kindergarten Cop or Junior.)

And a shiny new nickel to the first person who can tell me the best way to incorporate the phrase “Get away from her, you bitch!” into any of the four gospels.

-CSJ

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